I am always looking for easy ways to get my family to eat more healthy foods. My kids eat veggies and fruit but who doesn’t love a cookie? I wanted a Yes Cookie. Something the kids could eat for breakfast or anytime and I’d still feel good about what they ate.

This recipe is inspired by a recipe in Jessica Seinfeld’s Deceptively Delicious. She uses chemical sugars and “food-like” stuff like margarine but it gave me a starting point for amounts.

Yes Cookies

1 cup organic coconut sugar
3/4 cup organic butter
1 organic egg
2 teaspoons organic vanilla extract
2 cups organic chickpeas, soaked, drained and rinsed
2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
2 cups organic flour
1/2 cup organic old fashioned oats
1/4 cup ground flax
1 teaspoon aluminum-free baking soda

Take prepared chickpeas and purée in a food processor until you get a smooth paste.

Cream together butter and sugar. Add chickpea mash, vanilla and egg and combine.

In a separate bowl, combine dry ingredients except chocolate and flax.

Mix dry into wet ingredients slowly until well incorporated and smooth.

Add flax and chocolate chips and stir until just combined.

Drop by tablespoon full onto baking sheet (I prefer a baking stone). Use a spoon to flatten the cookie a little. These spread very little so you can put them close together.

Bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes. On a stone that was not pre-heated my first batch took about 22 minutes and subsequent batches took closer to 18 on a hot stone. Different baking sheets and ovens will vary but look for the edges to get golden brown.

Delicious warm! The cookies are not cakey like I feel other healthy cookies can be. They have a smooth, chewy center.

I hope you like them!

Mix the following in a spray bottle and shake before each application.

Natural Bug Spray

1/8 Cup Apple Cider Vinegar

1/8 Cup Witch Hazel

1/8 cup Water

20 drops Eucalyptus Essential Oil
20 drops Tea Tree Essential Oil
20 drops Citronella Essential Oil

Aellyn: Mommy I have a tiny penis!
Me: You do?
Aellyn: yeah, look! (shows me her clitoris)
Me: I see. That’s called a clitoris.
Aellyn: Yeah!! My clitoris penis!

Later;
Aellyn: My boobs are going to get big!
Me: that’s right they will when you’re older. They’ll get big like mommy’s.
Aellyn: yeah! (grabs my boob) they’re big!
Me: do you know why girls get big boobies? To feed babies.
Aellyn: Yeah, like the boys drink mommy’s boobie milk.
Me: yep. That’s what boobies are for.

Sigh. Parenting is fun.

Highlights by year:

In 2006 I turned 31:

 At midnight tonight I turn 31 years old.  I have never hated my birthday before.  I’m not the type to get upset at getting old.  I wouldn’t be 21 again if you paid me (unless, of course, you paid me enough for IVF! ).  However, this birthday just makes me want to cry.  I don’t want a birthday or a birthday cake or any festivities.  I want a BABY!

In 2007 I hit rock bottom.  I have hidden the few posts I wrote because it wasn’t me.  You can read a synopsis here.  I think that rock bottom was a necessary part of my infertility journey.  By 2008 my husband and I had survived the hardest times in our lives and our marriage and decided that we weren’t going to let infertility take away each other.  I had overcome the darkness,

I feel so blessed now by my rock-bottom landing and bounce back.  Not only has it given me back my long-lost and much needed faith in God but it has had many other blessings.

One is a wonderfully renewed marriage.  More about that later.

I am amazed to find I feel no jealousy toward mothers or pregnant women!  I am free from that oppressive, dark emotion.  I feel overjoyed for them – they are being given (or have been giving) a wonderful gift!  I have several pregnant friends and I truly feel joy for them – not forced joy.

I wonder if I’m ready to be around or hold a small child?  That one still scares me very much.  Just thinking about holding an infant makes me feel this deep, dark, hole of pain in my chest.

But my hole of pain was about to be filled!  In February of 2008 and I sent off my application for the IVF grant Partnership for Families in my essay The Big Beg (still my favorite post of all time), found a support group in Still Waters.  Of course the darkness still tried to invade in my dreams.

And then in May 2008 (my most prolific blog month ever with 32 posts in 31 days!) I started my one and only chance at IVF.  I got my first picture of my beautiful embryos!  One of these is Aellyn!!!

Of course I didn’t know that until June 1 when I had my first positive HPT

The most beautiful picture in the world!

(those damn things *do* turn pink!)

The rest of 2008 was one of the best times of my life.  Being pregnant when you thought it was something that only happened to other people is like wining the lottery.  Every day I talked to Aellyn and we danced together in the shower.  I loved her so much long before she was born.

In 2009 I finally became a mother.  It was so worth the years of waiting and all the tests and all the shots.  My baby girl was so precious and perfect.  I kept waiting to hate the first few months as many of my friends had but with Aellyn nursing like a pro and sleeping cuddled right next to me my “babymoon” was bliss not stress (not that I didn’t have my moments).  Is was in early motherhood that I found I had a passion for parenting issues like gentle discipline, breastfeeding advocacy,  and vaccine choice.

Not  one to rest on my laurels I did my frozen embryo transfer in July of 2010 while also continuing to talk about breastfeeding rights.  This time I found out I was blessed with TWINS!!  It was not an easy pregnancy but in February 2011 my beautiful baby boys, Asher and Boston, were born at 32 weeks.

Later in 2011 I made the very difficult decision to quit my job after months of discrimination and harassment at work.  It was a horrible circumstance that ended in the best blessing of being a SAHM.  My life is so full now with this,

2012 is going to be a beautiful year.  Follow me while I explore un/homeschooling, gentle discipline, fat acceptance, and healthful natural eating and living like my Oil Cleansing Method, Lavender Rosemary Shampoo Recipe, Make Your Own Toothpaste, Make Your Own “Vicks” Chest Rub, and healthy, REAL food recipes like Sweet & Salty Cherry Almond Bars (Chewy too!), Make Your Own Mayo and Never Look Back!, or Cinnamon Flax Banana Bread.

Thank you for being an important part of my life.  If you are reading this please know you are a part of my village and I couldn’t do it without you.  Thank you and here’s to 6 more years!

(I think I just wrote myself a new “about me” what do ya think?)

Today is national Spank Out Day a day to give widespread attention to the need to end corporal punishment of children and to promote non-violent ways of teaching children appropriate behavior.

In honor, I’d like to share a story by Astrid Lindgren author of the Pipi Longstockings books.  She received the German Trade Book Peace Prize in 1978 and in her acceptance speech she shared;

“When I was about 20 years old, I met an old pastor’s wife who told me that when she was young and had her first child, she didn’t believe in striking children, although spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard punishment at the time. But one day when her son was four or five, he did something that she felt warranted a spanking–the first of his life. And she told him that he would have to go outside and find a switch for her to hit him with. The boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying. He said to her, “Mama, I couldn’t find a switch, but here’s a rock that you can throw at me.”

All of a sudden the mother understood how the situation felt from the child’s point of view: that if my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone. And the mother took the boy onto her lap and they both cried. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to remind herself forever: never violence. And that is something I think everyone should keep in mind. Because violence begins in the nursery–one can raise children into violence.”

The idea that some violence is ok and other types is not makes no sense to a child and if we look really deep in our hearts we know that it makes no logical sense to us either.  Gentle Discipline isn’t always easy, because it is so against the norm in our culture, but it works better.  I works better for a peaceful world, a healthy child, and a healthy parent/child relationship.  Give peace a chance starting with your kids.  You are all they’ll learn about violence – let it be that it is never ok.

Then I came across this great recipe from Betsy at The Green Phone Booth called Chewy (Not Crumbly) Granola Bars.  This got me on the right track but I still felt they were a bit sweet and soft.  After much tweaking (and credit to Betsy) I finally made the MOST DELICIOUS bar ever.  It is quite literally, IMHO, better than anything I’ve bought from a store.

Sweet & Salty Cherry Almond Bars

Ingredients:

4 cups organic rolled oats – (I love Bob’s Red Mill Organic Thick Cut because they really stay whole.)
2 cups raw slivered almonds
2/3 cup organic unsweetened coconut flakes
1/2 cup organic cold-pressed oil – (I used Sunflower Oil buy you could choose your favorite mild-flavored oil.  I’d avoid coconut oil in this step because you want to really coat the oats.)
2 cups dried cherries – (look for unsweetened and, although cherries are rarely dried with sulfur dioxide (more often used in apricots, apples, golden raisins, and peaches), check to make sure they are sun or wind dried as sulfur dioxide is linked to asthma and can be allergenic.)
1/2 cup organic cold-pressed oil – (I once again used Sunflower oil but this is a place you could also use Coconut oil for the health benefits.)

raw, unfiltered honey is thick and opaque

1 cup raw unfiltered honey - (I think this is what made mine less soft and melty and less sweet.  Unfiltered honey is opaque and the consistency of peanut butter and much less sweet because it still has wax and pollen in it)
2/3 cup almond butter – (make your own in a food processor and save money!)
2 Tbls Organic Vanilla
Kosher salt or flake sea salt

Instructions:

Prepare 9×13 cake pan with butter.  Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

Combine oats, coconut, and almonds in large bowl with 1/2 cup of oil to coat.  Spread on a sheet pan and bake at 325 degrees for 20-25 minutes, stirring every 5 minutes. After toasting return to large bowl.

Combine second 1/2 cup of oil, honey, and almond butter in a sauce pan and heat slowly until just boiling whisking frequently (I heat oil and honey and then add the almond butter to make whisking easier).  Prior to boiling but after the honey and almond butter liquefy add vanilla.

Pour melted mixture over oats mixture and fold to coat evenly (also, put water in that sauce pan ASAP or it will be a sticky mess to clean!).  Immediately transfer to cake pan and use spatula to press into corners.  Use another pan or other flat object to press granola into pan.  You don’t want it to be loosely packed and then fall apart.  To do this place parchment or wax paper over granola and use smaller pan to press evenly.  This worked really well for me with a loaf pan as in the pic below:

use wax paper and a smaller pan to press granola

Sprinkle kosher salt on top sparingly – think a few grains per bite – if you think adding salt is weird remember that salt enhances sweet flavor and it makes an irresistible combo on the tongue.

Place the pan in the refrigerator to set for about 2 hours then set at room temperature before cutting.

Cut into squares or rectangles.  Individually wrap in wax paper for easy pick up and go!

I hope you love this as much as I did!  I roughly figure this is about $.34 per bar saving almost a dollar!

Are you imagining the possibilities?  I’m thinking dried cranberries and dark chocolate; peanut butter; dried apricots and pecans; chocolate and candied orange peel.  Drool!

Please let me know if you try these out!

What makes this method easy?  An immersion blender, also called a “stick” blender.  It looks like the one to the left.  It is only $24 on Amazon and I really think it is worth it!

If you don’t use a stick blender then good luck.  I avoided making mayo for years because it is a delicate and arm-aching process to get the egg and oil to emulsify.  That type of stress right as I want to make a sandwich is annoying.  With the stick blender you can literally whip up perfect mayo in 60 seconds.

Here are the ingredients:

1 large organic egg yolk
1 Tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon distilled white vinegar
1 teaspoon dry mustard (or 1/4 tsp prepared yellow mustard)
1/4 teaspoon flake sea salt or to taste
dash white pepper, optional
1 cup room temperature oil

As far as oil goes using Olive Oil would make this an aoili technically not a mayo.  The Olive Oil has a very strong flavor and makes a delicious mayo.  However, a true mayo would use a neutral oil.  I like organic grapeseed oil or sunflower oil but experiment with an oil you like.  I would avoid any corn or canola oil because it is almost always genetically modified.

Egg yolk on the bottom then add the other ingredients.  Take the stick blender clear to the bottom and turn it on – holding it in place for 5 seconds.  You’ll see the thick white beginnings of mayo forming.  Once you see that slowly pull up the stick blender to grab the other ingredients.  I usually go up and down again.  Total time with the blender is less than 15 seconds.

Voila!

It thickens up upon refrigeration.  And it will look yellow-er than store bought especially if you use organic eggs.  Everyone differs on how they feel about raw egg products.  I’m not too worried unless I was pregnant so I keep this in the fridge for 5-7 days.  It makes a nice small amount so if you were making an egg or potato salad you’d use it all up and not need to worry about storage.  Since it is so easy to make I wouldn’t make a bigger batch just make it as you go.

There are variations you might like:

• use olive oil and add minced garlic to taste
• a pinch of sugar makes it taste more like miracle whip if you prefer
• after making the mayo add siracha or chipotle spice for a spicy mayo

How do you like your mayo?

I understand what Rosen was trying to say while I disagreed with her wording (and her wording on her follow up post where she calls staying home a “luxury”).  Regardless, everyone is in an uproar about which job is harder, which job is more worthy, and which job is the most maligned by society.

Sigh.

Women against women really makes me sad.  Having been a WOHM and a SAHM I can tell you something I have learned.  The mothering world is not divided between mothers who work and mothers who parent all day.

The world is divided into women who are fulfilled by their current circumstances and those who are not.

When I was a WOHM it was daily difficult to convince myself that what I was doing was best for my family.  I was miserable, honestly.  I had moments where it felt like it was working because I did actually love what I did and who I did it for (I was a librarian for the freakin’ space program!  How cool is that?) but mostly my heart ached to not be the primary, daily caregiver of my children.  I needed to be home.

I have very good friends that were anxious for their maternity leaves to be over!  They needed the fulfillment of their job.  They don’t want to vomit when they take their kids to daycare – they really like the things they learn and that they see mommy as a working woman.  I know for a fact they would be miserable if they “had” to be at home (due to lay off, illness, etc.).

The fact is that a fulfilled mother is a good mother.  Now, I’m not saying everyone doesn’t have days when they wish they were in the other camp but for the most part happy mothers are where they feel they need to be to be the best parents.

I’m not a better parent because I’m at home – I’m a better parent because I love where I’m at and I throw myself fully into it.  You are not a better parent because you work – You are a better parent because you love what you do and throw yourself fully into it.

All of us are valuable to society because we are raising the next generation!  We all deserve the support and accolades of society.

The sad circumstance is when a woman is not in a place that fulfills her and thus maximizes her mothering potential.  This is where I want to see OPTIONS for women.

• good childcare options and tax incentives so mothers can work if they need to
• good off-ramping/on-rampling work practices for mothers who choose to stay home and tax laws/divorce laws that do not punish women for staying home
• MOST IMPORTANT: policies that throw away this dichotomy and allow women to find fulfillment through both working and childrearing if they wish;
• maternity leave
• meaningful, well paid, part time work
• true work flexibilities like telework (added thanks to Sarah: and bring your baby to work programs)
• tax law that does not penalize the second earner in a family
• excellent child care opportunities (and well paid, valued child care workers)

When we let the argument devolve into SAHM vs. WOHM we lose the opportunity to make valuable change.

I had a “successful” public school experience.  I was in the top 10% of my class and I went on to get several college degrees.  However, the things I have “learned” that have become part of who I am today are not the academics it took a decade and a half for the school institution to teach me.  They are the incidental lessons I learned in the primary grades and those things I learned myself, because I was interested in them, in my high school years.  I also had involved parents who were lifelong learners themselves as evidenced by nights in the backyard with the telescope.

So here goes.  What I learned at elementary school (pre-K through 6):

Preschool

I distinctly remember a water station with a basin of soapy water we could blow bubbles in with a straw.  Fun!  I remember learning that there was a “right” way to use glue and that my teacher got very mad when I used “too much”.

Kindergarten

I remember lots of stuff from kindergarden but the only thing I can think of that really had an impact is that kids used to vie to stand by me in line because I had long, blonde hair that the other girls like to play with.  We spent soooo much time standing in lines and walking in lines.  I guess this was my first understanding of the concept of popularity and that I had a “rank” on the social scale.

First Grade

I’ve been racking my brain and I’m pretty sure I learned NOTING in 1st grade.  I remember first grade I just don’t find it memorable.

Second Grade

My first “academic” activity that stuck with me!  Our teacher gave us an assignment to learn how to spell supercalifragilisticexpealidocious but she didn’t tell us how to spell it like she did with other spelling words.  She gave us a task to go find out how to spell it on our own and then learn it.  (Remember this is before internet so we had to have our parents trek us to the library and such).

Unfortunately I learned some other horrible things in second grade.  I was ridiculed by my teacher when she asked me to throw something in the “waste basket” and I couldn’t find it.  I had simply never heard the term waste basket to refer to a trash or garbage can.  This was hilarious to her and the class.  This is the first time I remember being really embarrassed.

But wait!  It gets much, much worse.  There was a girl in my class named Mickie.  She had what would now (and maybe then) was defined as severe ADHD.  I don’t know if my teacher was following current best practices for ADHD at the time or if she was a sadistic psychopath but they way she treated Mickie is like something out of a horror story.  She was tied to her chair with toilet paper and her feet were in a box (to remind her not to get out of her seat?) and the teacher had the janitor sweep all the dust and dirt from the classroom into her cube (which was set apart from the class) to teach her about having a messy desk.  I guess that might not sound too bad but the effect it had on the way the other kids treated Mickie is astounding.  I actually witnessed nearly the whole class surround Mickie, who had been depants’d, throwing rocks at her while she laid on the ground in the fetal position crying.  She quickly learned to hide in the cement tunnel on the play ground and two boys would trap her in there the whole time.  It was like being inside Lord of the Flies.  Needless to say this is one of the most memorable things I learned in 14 years of public schooling.

Third Grade

Not much here.  This was the first time that my being friends with a boy became “weird” and we had to be friends outside of school and ignore each other at school.

Fourth Grade

My teacher read Island of the Blue Dolphins to us.  I couldn’t wait to get to school to hear the next part of the book and this is one of my favorite books till this day (a strong female character, check it out).  I like to read but after this I LOVED to read.

Unfortunately I also remember this teacher yelling at me for “not trying” because when I colored a picture I didn’t color hard/dark enough.  Like light coloring is cheating or something.

Fifth Grade

I learned that I hate math ¹.  Learning times tables was PURE, UNADULTERATED HELL.  Doing math homework at night for HOURS was horrible.  This was also the year that they took the boys and girls into separate rooms and told us about puberty.  I learned from this that my parents were MUCH better at answering my questions than my peers’ parents.  They literally told me nothing I didn’t already know and left out much I knew.  My friends though?  They were baffled – this was truly NEW to them.

Sixth Grade

I had a wonderful teacher in sixth grade.  She was the first person to tell me I was good at science.  Talk about a self-fulfilling prophesy – I ended up excelling in science through high school and majoring in Physics at University.  I also remember writing in her class.  Sometimes it was using our spelling words but we were encouraged to be creative!  This is when I first loved to write.  Another very meaningful experience is that our class had a problem with bullying this one girl (Mickie no long went to our school) and my teacher had a “talk circle”.  We put our desks in a circle and she led us in a talk about how teasing feels and what it says about us as people.  She treated us like adults and brought empathy into the class.  Overall, she had very HIGH EXPECTATIONS for us.  To create, to learn, and to be good people.

In addition I, and everyone who goes to public school, learns Seven Important Lessons:

1. Learning is something you have to be forced/coerced/bribed to do.  It has to be compulsory.
2. Learning is something that requires an “expert in teaching” to dispense.
3. Some learning, especially math and especially for girls, is really hard.
4. Intelligence is innate.  some got it and some don’t.
5. Your success requires you to constantly be judged and labelled by others.
6. How others should be treated is also based on the “experts” judgement.
7. Your social standing is as important if not more important than your academic success at school.

Success at school – “learning” what the teacher wants and taking tests well – is not neccessarily a skill that will help you at anything in real life.  And vice versa.  Being “bad” at “schooling”, like my sister is because she has a “learning disability” and test anxiety, does NOT mean you won’t be a successful adult.  Unfortunately though, it IS often the case after years of indoctrination that success means being good at school, being labelled by others as “smart”, and external achievement.

What if we assume that every one of those seven lessons were WRONG?  What if the exact opposite is actually true?  What if,

1. Learning is a natural process from our innate curiosity.
2. Learning is something we are all experts at.
3. Things that are “hard” to learn are just being taught to a mind that isn’t ready for them.
4. Intelligence is fluid and depends on things like motivation, experience, culture, etc.
5. Since we always tell kids not to judge maybe we shouldn’t.  Maybe success can only be defined by the person in question.
6. The success of others in no one’s business.
7. False hierarchy’s based on age segregation, perceived intelligence, and physical appearance is not what’s important in life.

Wouldn’t that change the game a little?  That would mean the problems with the schools are not funding, teacher unions, curriculum, or testing but the whole premise of the institution.  Money and new standards can never correct a system that is based on things that just aren’t true!  In the coming weeks I’m going to look at those seven lessons and see what we know through research about the truth on these topics.

In the meantime, think about what you really learned in school.  What are your life-changers that took place in your first 10-12 years?  Were they curriculum?  Were they lessons you want your kids to learn too?