My past vaccine posts have been long (sorry) and time consuming for me because I try to have references and data. For this one, I want to just appeal to your basic logic. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t numbers and research behind this one too…look it up!
Hepatitis B is the first vaccination the CDC wants you to give your baby…at 12 hours old. Yes, I said hours. Wow, this must be an important one! A terrible disease in infants killing by the tens of thousands!
Nope. Actually Hep B is a blood borne illness passed primarily through high-risk sexual behaviors and sharing dirty needles. The largest risk to infants is catching it from mom. Mom’s that are Hep B+ (and they would know since STD testing during pregnancy is routine) then maybe you need this vaccine. Otherwise you only need this vaccine if:
- You are an aspiring crack whore*
- You love the smack
- You plan on pimping out your new infant (hey, the economy sucks, right?)
- You firmly believe in hiring drug addicts as babysitters
- You believe that babies learn reflexes best when dodging dirty hypodermic needles
*note: being a crack whore has the added benefit of insuring you will never be infertile!
“But why not?” you say. What’s the harm? According to the Vaccine Adverse Events Reporting System, the following have been reported for the Hepatitis B vaccine only:
These numbers are estimated to represent, according to the CDC, 1-10% of actual cases since 1990.