The lab just called to schedule our ET for tomorrow at 9:30. I am just sick to my stomach because I was so hoping for a 5 day transfer. I know I shouldn’t have but I just had it built up in my mind as the “goal” of IVF. I should have asked more questions about number and egg quality but she said “some have slowed down and it looks like you have 9 that are ok.” Some? Ok? Where do these people get their words? Don’t they know I live and breathe by them? So, do we have more than 9 and some have slowed down but 9 are doing good? Do we only have 9 and most of them suck? I know this is completely out of my hands now. God is watching my babies and the lab people. I have to trust. But I still want to throw up.
I so underestimated how this would feel. The question of weather a failed IVF is going to feel like a miscarriage is moot. I feel like these are my babies dying and they aren’t even inside me yet. I wish I had more control over the lab process. I want to see each embryo and let ME decide if I think it is arresting or if I think it can be frozen. Those are my babies and they are in someone else’s care.
There is a dam of tears behind my eyes and my heart is in my throat.
This calculator was posted on Wishing4One aand is a great toy for those of us that need something to focus on besides breast tenderness, pain in the left ovary, and ...
I called the embryology lab today (repeatedly - more on this in a minute) and we had one "really good" blast that was frozen yesterday in addition to our 2 ...
I am mentally compiling a list of "Laws of Infertility" that I will one day write down here. But, today I learned an important one:"Thou shalt trust thy Follistim pen!"I ...
Oh, dildocam how I missed thee.So I had my baseline ultrasound/bloodwork for IVF #1 today! We are on our way. This is my first time for monitoring at this new ...
The first is part of the Health Journey's series by Belleruth Naparstek. It is called Guided Meditation Help for Infertility. It consists of 2 CDs and 4 (~20 min. each) ...
Still no AF. I can feel it but I'm still waiting.Tonight I "nested." That's what I'm going to call it. I arranged all my paraphernalia for stimming on a wooden ...
Well, I just got back from my mini-vacation and it was fabulous. TMI alert: frankly we lounged around naked for two full days alternating between the couch and hot tub! ...
I saw Baby Mama this evening. Overall the movie was very funny and enjoyable to watch. As an IF patient there were parts that made me cry although I'm in ...
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